Gas prices are on the rise. $2.55 is the average price where I am. Some people have decided that public transportation is the best way for them to travel. There have been news stories about the buses in this area being packed. They obviously think this is due to the inflated fuel cost. I have another theory.

I think the cars are out to get us. A couple of weeks ago my wife was driving in a parking lot. She has been telling me how much she doesn’t like those Honda Elements. She has said they are ugly. Well, There was one behind her and as she came to a stop sign the revengeful Honda shouldered her from behind. The car purposefuly bent our bumper. The other day we had it fixed and my wife picked it up yesterday. Later that day we found a nail stuck in one of our tires and had to get it replaced this morning. I am convinced that another Honda Element placed it in our path or threw it at us. I know I’m on to something because why else would so many people stop driving their cars. They know cars are plotting to kill us all! The cost of gas isn’t enough to stop that many people.

Pay attention when you’re watching the news and see how many acts of violence you see caused by the cars. We think we’re in control but we’re not. Frankly I’m afraid to go outside anymore. Let me publicly apologize in behalf of my wife to all Honda Elements. You’re not ugly. You are very unique. Please forgive her she didn’t mean any harm.